Hullo everyone!

You may remember from a few weeks ago, in response to my lyrical waxing on my return to Scotland, that Kracka asked me for advice on where to go in Edinburgh. Sadly, I haven’t been to our great capital in almost a decade, and so I didn’t feel particularly well-placed to provide advice.

So what I did was I asked my old school-chum Dr. Jill MacKay, who’s lived and worked in Edinburgh for a good long time, for her insider knowledge of the city! Jill is not only an expert in the zoological sciences, she is a fantastic writer as well – I heartily recommend following her animal welfare science blog, ‘fluffysciences’, for informative articles, breaking news, and even Let’s Plays!

So, with only a pause to offer my most heartfelt thanks to Jill, I present to you:

Jill’s What To Do
In Edinburgh

When asked to write a guide to the non-touristy aspects of Edinburgh, my mind goes blank. I’ve been resident of the capital for four and a half years now, but there’s still much of this tiny city unexplored and uncharted.

The first commandment of Edinburgh is comfortable shoes. Despite the tram network, Edinburgh’s public transport service is pretty amazing, but the buses are for getting places quickly on rainy days. In Edinburgh, you should be walking.

I often think there are two kinds of people who come to Edinburgh. Those who come for the Festival, meaning the pipes, drums, royal pageantry and those who come for the festival, meaning the Fringe festival of comedy, art, drama and booze. August is festival season, where the city is packed, relatively warmer and bars seem to pop up from the ground.

If you’re in town in August I recommend leaving at least one day to do the Free Fringe (http://www.freefringe.org.uk/). Pick up a program and a handful of smash and see as much free comedy as you can. Some of it will have you crying with laughter, some of it will make you leave early. Donate to the good shows and buy lots of drinks from the pubs. Leave a whole day of it and enjoy yourself.

If you’re not in Edinburgh during August, it’s still a city full of comedy and performances. On Sundays there’s improv at the Comedy Club at lunch time (http://www.thestand.co.uk/edinburgh.aspx). Have yourself a Sunday lunch in front of some free comedy of variable quality. I highly recommend.

A note on comedy in Edinburgh – we are a city which sees a LOT of comedy. Heckling happens. Most of it is fine, even solicited by the comedians, some of it is funnier than the comedy act (particularly on free shows – or when a comedian takes a strop because his joke didn’t go down the way he thought it would, Brendan Burns I’m looking at you). Some heckling is just plain offensive and I have been part of an audience to boo hecklers out of a pub. The point being you should not be surprised by heckling in Edinburgh, but nor should you feel afraid to (politely) tell a heckler to be quiet.

Edinburgh also has approximately ten billion theatres (I’m a scientist, I know these things). There’s the Kings, the Festival (for such a modern theatre, such hard seats up at the back), the Playhouse (the upper circle’s plush velvet padding on the rail is not a stable place to rest a bag, take it from me), Usher Hall, the Traverse, the Lyceum, not to mention all the small little theatres dotted about the place, all within walking distance. The tourist planning a trip to Edinburgh should be on the look out for shows or plays they’d enjoy.

Those looking for dinner and a show are well catered for. Mother India have recently opened a tapas style Indian restaurant in Edinburgh, close to the Festival theatre, and I heartily recommend their foil-baked fish. And their jaipuri. And all of their dishes actually. I’m salivating at the thought. Carnivores might like Kyloes on the top of the Rutland hotel, a steak restaurant which takes the time to explain to you what the different cuts are and how they’re best cooked. Yes!Sushi on Hanover Street does the most amazing hot pots served in galleon ships, but don’t be tempted by the tempura battered ice cream, it’s not half as appealing as you think it might be. Foodies in Leith should try Khublai Khans and then tell me what it’s like because I’m absolutely desperate to go. There are also the fancy restaurants, like Jamie Oliver’s and the Witchery. If you’ve the money to burn, you’ll know these better than me.

I also hear we have amazing vegetarian restaurants such as Hendersons and David Bann’s, I’m assured that David Bann’s in particular is excellent.

If I had friends up and a few spare days in Edinburgh, I’d start us off in the National Museum of Scotland on Chamber Street. Recently renovated it is a free museum which houses some beautiful natural history pieces, a gorgeous animal gallery and, of course, Dolly the Sheep. Rumour has it she’s in a glass case because she’s very poorly taxidermied and smells rather strongly.

After touring the museum, I’d take us a quick stop past Greyfriar’s Bobby’s statue and, if I had the time, a stop in the Greyfriar’s pub for a very nice pint. Edinburgh is rightly proud of its brewing history and all good pubs will have guest ales. Ask for tastes and if you’re not given one, you’ve probably bumped into an Edinburgh local (sorry, it’s the Glaswegian in me). Edinburgh is a city full of tourists and international students, and that’s part of what I love about it. Craft ales, gins and whiskeys are all part of its charm.

Leave Greyfriar’s Bobby (I’ve heard, though I’ve no idea if it’s true, that the statue used to face the pub, but an enterprising publican sneaked out one night to turn it around so when people took photos the pub would be in the background. I love that idea and so I repeat the story ad nauseum). Walk down the hill to the Grassmarket to embark upon a miniature pub crawl, and then either meet Lothian Road and walk back to Prince’s Street (stopping at the Hanging Bat or Lebowski’s for a sneaky pint) and when you reach Prince’s Street start shopping. Or make a short circuit in the Grassmarket and walk up Victoria Street. It’s a steep street, winding up the hill towards the upper Edinburgh streets. It’s full of pretty boutiques and expensive trinkets, and a little Christmas shop, and might be familiar to people from the Royal Bank of Scotland adverts.

At the top of Victoria Street you’re on George Fourth Bridge, which crosses the Royal Mile. While I don’t recommend buying anything or eating anything around the Royal Mile (tourist trap), you can walk west along it to the castle, which is fun, or Camera Obscura.

From the Royal Mile head to the mound (taking a possible detour at Edinburgh Dungeons) and visit the Royal Portrait Gallery, again for free. By now the nightlife in Edinburgh should be hotting up. Visit the Voodoo Rooms off of St Andrew Square for an overpriced cocktail and then make your way to the Cowgate for every kind of club you can wish for. Join up with one of the many stag or hen dos, or simply catch a bike pedalo home.

If you’ve managed to reach Edinburgh on a sunny weekend, spend the morning recuperating in the Meadows, watching a cricket game or walk up one of Edinburgh’s seven hills. Arthur’s seat (a volcanic plug) or Calton Hill and see the national monument. If you’re over on that side of town you might want to explore the Botanic Gardens but my hot tip, rain or shine, would be the zoo. View Scotland’s pandas (more numerous than Conservative MPs or UKIP MEPs) the asiatic lions, or the penguin parade.

You could easily fill a week or so exploring Edinburgh and her surroundings, take a walk in the nearby Pentland hills, go skiing on the dry slope, explore the mysteries of Leith or visit the Dynamic Earth exhibit. But my hot tips for not going off the beaten path?

Zazou’s Cafe – a canal boat cafe on the Union Canal, pair with a little walk.

Take a Ghost Walk at dusk – check out the tour guides as they’re selling their tours on Canongate and pick the one you think is funniest. It’s campy and hilarious.

Go to the Dominion Cinema to experience the joy of cinema with your feet up.

And if it coincides with your visit, stop in at the Royal Highland Show to experience the best the country can offer in animals, food, drink, crafts and blacksmithing. (The blacksmiths are really not to be missed).

Enjoy Edinburgh while you’re visiting, but if I can leave you with one last recommendation, it’s a small city in a small country. Hop a train to Glasgow for a day and take in so much more, hire a car and drive to the Highlands to view the spectacular grandeur of our wilderness. And above all, try haggis if you’re off the Royal Mile, don’t be afraid to put water in your whiskey, listen to the songs the drunk people sing and haste ye back!