Elf Blood

Now that I’m back in Glasgow, and things are a little less stressful, I thought I’d start getting a head-start on the ol’ weight-loss before restarting Slimblog proper. To this end, I decided to hit the swimming pool.

My logic was thus; When you’re in the pool, you’re buoyed by the water, and you don’t get all hot and sweaty like when you go jogging. Plus, it’s also a full-body workout, so that can’t be a bad thing, right?

Oh dear God how wrong I was.

Swimming is a LOT harder than I remember it being. Granted, the last time I went swimming I was probably about 30 kg lighter and 10 years younger, but even just trying to drag myself through the bloody water was like moving through treacle. I just could not keep my legs up; they kept on hitting the bottom of the pool. And could I do a full length? Yeah, once or twice at the beginning of the session, but definitely NOT after that.

And that’s not even the worst bit. I spent twenty minutes attempting this bizarre charade of exercise, and decided that developing a headache would be a good time to get out of the pool. I spent the next 15 minutes or so in the changing room, desperately attempting to not collapse, vomit, and cry simultaneously.

I… Am not a fit man.

I didn’t even have the energy to walk the mile back home. I just sat in the reception area for a while longer, drinking water, waiting for the room to stop spinning before I got on the bus. Both my legs and my arms were aching, and all my energy for doing ANYTHING productive that day had evaporated.

I can’t say it was the most encouraging experience I’ve ever had… But, on the plus side, I understand my limitations a bit more, and have REALLY learned how horribly unfit I am. So, bring on next week! And hopefully I won’t have another tale of exhaustion and woe!

M.