Are you looking for a new telephone and broadband provider in the UK? Well, my friend, let me offer you some advice!

Stay the hell away from Sky.

Sky does not understand the concept of customer service, and will attempt to make YOU do all the legwork to resolve problems of their own creation. They will constantly resort to ridiculous advice to try and throw you off, and to keep you down.

On Monday, I received two text messages out of the blue. These messages informed me that my new service provider would be taking over supply of voice and broadband… That very day. Needless to say, I was rather annoyed. I hadn’t requested any change of supplier. I’m moving in a month, why the hell would I lock myself into a new contract?

So, I called Sky customer services to resolve it. I explained that I had received these messages. The sky rep confirmed that a new provider was indeed coming in. I asked how that could have happened. She explained that I must have authorised the other ISP to do so. I told her that I had never been contacted about this, and that they had to stop the process now to prevent my service from being cut off. She said that Sky couldn’t do that, and that I would have to contact the new service provider to do so. I grumbled, and asked who the ISP was. She said that they didn’t have enough information to be able to tell me. I asked her what would happen now.

She told me to phone around the different ISPs to find out which one was taking over.

There are over 50 ISPs providing broadband services in the UK alone.

I had to pause for a bit after such an idiotic and insulting suggestion. I asked why Sky would not do this, considering that it was not my fault. She said that it wasn’t Sky’s responsibility to find out who the new ISP was, seeing as how I must have authorised them. I explained, once more, that I had not, and that Sky had a duty to protect my contract with them by checking with me anything that would alter the supply of service.

She told me that the only thing I could do, if I didn’t want to phone round the ISPs, was to write to the complaints department.

And so, I sent off an email to the complaints department explaining my problem, requesting a reversal of the switching process, and explaining why the advice I was given was impractical and insulting. More than the stated target time of 72 hours had elapsed before I received a response.

Unfortunately, the complaints department could not help, and I would have to contact customer services.

This is why I will never deal with Sky again. The sheer incompetence of their staff and their inability to provide a positive customer experience, coupled with their unwillingness to adapt to new markets, their lack of respect for new groups of customers and the very, very poor quality of service my family and friends back in Glasgow have been experiencing, have all added up to paint a very specific portrait indeed.

Sky wants your money. Sky doesn’t care about you. Sky will try and get away with doing as little as possible.

So, my friends, if you are currently with Sky for broadband or talk, just be aware that you might have your service disconnected at any time for no real reason! I would recommend looking elsewhere for decent customer service, as you will not find it within the halls of Sky. You will, instead, be told to fix it yourself, and they will attempt to absolve themselves of any responsibility.

I am strongly considering contacting the ombudsman over the ridiculous treatment I have received.

Also in the news; My computer was acting a bit weird today – I’m hoping I managed to fix it, but just in case it fails more catastrophically, I might have to put up some placeholder comics. I have four pages of Ludwig and Lucia that would hold me for a couple of weeks while I got it sorted, but hopefully it won’t come to that!

Right, cheerio for now everyone! Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you all on Monday!

M.